Why is that more times than not we anchor ourselves in the past? Maybe because change is painful but suffering it is optional. Especially when it comes to suffering from losing someone. But we can’t let people be anchors because all they do is continually pull us backwards. Paulo Coelho said “And, when you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.” Some people are meant to stay in our pasts. It doesn’t mean we didn’t love them and it doesn’t mean we didn’t care about them, it just means we love ourselves and care about ourselves more. Maybe some people are just meant to be chapters and if we keep re-reading the same chapters over and over again we won’t ever move forward, we won’t ever finish the book.
I continually try to grab for my past or my future. Always grabbing but I only ever grasp air. I keep reaching, searching for something that is never in my reach. It’s not tangible and it evades me time and time again. I hold onto people longer than I should. Once they become still water I try to cup them in my hand and just as with water all they do is seep slowly through my hands. The more I try to recup it and grab more, the more I lose and the more stagnant it becomes. They slip right through my fingers.
Losing people, change, time, these are all constants. Time is a man made thing. We keep track of time. Mitch Albom’s book The Timekeeper says “Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.” It’s true. We have created time and because of it we suffer.
But isn’t that the way it is? We create our own suffering. We cling to what we lost, we keep track of the minutes, the days, the time. I think it’s time to focus on the present. What we do have. Dream about the future, remember something better is just around the corner but for now be appreciative of what you currently have. Concentrate on those who love you, who appreciate it. And when a relationship no longer grows you or serves you, walk away, let it go. Let them go “I tie no weights to my ankles.” (C. Joybell C.)